To PhD or not to PhD?

That is the question I have been asking myself for some time now.

Over the past few months I have been continually making different "life maps" for myself for the next 5 years. I had about 6 different options with more or less the same theme. It seemed like the more time I had to mull over my life with absolutely no answers, the more convoluted the plan became. Continual doubt was forcing me to consider how I would handle the worst case scenario. Maybe it was good to go through that exercise in order to ensure I was heading in the right direction. What I mean was I was ready to make all kinds of sacrifices in order to pursue my desired career.

Well, on Friday morning (while I was sleeping in due to many late night computer hours during the week), I got a call from a professor at school with whom I had applied for a rather prestigious, lucrative (well as lucrative as grad studies gets) scholarship for a PhD in plant genetics. It was weird that he was calling me at home and even weirder that he was super gitty but he proceeded to tell me that I had one the scholarship! I think the only time I have felt that level of relief while being half awake was when I realized that dreams about family members and friends dying were not true. My relief quickly turned into excitement and I proceeded to jump on top of my room mate (while she was getting a good days sleep after a night shift) and phoning the family to tell them the good news.

Anyways, it is with a sigh of relief and a breath of excitement I can finally let everyone know what my next step is. I will be starting a PhD in plant genetics at the UofS in the fall of 2005. If I can convince my committee and grad studies to think the same as me, I will return to UofG for the fall semester for course work. My thesis project will be looking at the genetics behind resistance in lentil to a disease called Anthracnose (caused by Colletotrichum truncatum for those of you who are interested). For the summer, I am not sure what I will be doing, but I really need a good couple weeks at home and I am still hoping to visit Jamie and Ives (and possibly Mateo depending on when he arrives). Hopefully I can find a decent paying job in Saskatoon, but I feel much less pressure now that my financial future is somewhat ensured for the next 4 years.

So now I can ask, how does this look: Dr. S.L. Vail, B.Sc. (Agr.), M.Sc., Ph.D.? I never, ever thought my name would be that long!

Chicken Anatomy

Does anyone know the correct anotomical term for a chicken's vulva?

Bully Broads or Exceptional Women

I just finished watching a documentary on CBC about exceptional women in high ranking positions in businesses and how their ambition is often read is over-zealousness or domineering where the exact same behaviour in men is considered desirable for success. The comment was made that these exceptional women rise initially by “acting like males” in the work place with respect to aggressiveness, drive, ability to make quick decisions and get results, yet when they continue to copy these mannerisms in order to advance they are seen as “bully broads” or B******! A business in the silicone valley which runs seminars for “bully broads” was highlighted. Basically the seminars taught women to be more tactical and political in exhibiting their drive and capabilities. There was a commentator arguing that this approach was denying the entire feminist movement in that women should not have to disguise their ambition and skills in order to advance in the work place when those are the skills and qualities that are essential in effective leaders. The show also highlighted the processes companies have made to be more politically correct on paper, yet once in the workplace women still find traditional male-oriented values prevailing. Furthermore, the desire for women to aim for the top is often robbed from them from lack of role models or women to emulate.

I am pretty sure my mom thinks of me as a bully broad and I realize that I may have acted insensitively due to my ambition and drive at times in my life. This show really hit me hard and actually reduced me to tears. There were so many things running through my head creating all these emotions … First of all, the fear of working so hard to accomplish my goals, only to be crushed by the fact that I am a driven female was reignited. Kim Campbell was interviewed on the show and mentioned that women are often accepted into politics with the expectation of failure and when they do not fail it is seen as purely good luck where if men fail it is only due to bad luck. I loath the idea that I am only expected to succeed by default! Secondly, the term “bully broad” made me think about all the people I have encountered who have that most likely have that opinion of me. The fact that I fear my own immediate family has that opinion of me makes me cringe even more. I always use to profess that my way of incorporating myself into a male-dominated career is by working quietly in order to advance, similar to the tactics outlined in the “bully broad” seminars. Well, it is easy to do that in school when you are an anonymous number or there is the perception of equal opportunity but I am starting to think that that concept only seems to work well in theory. I am really questioning if it is the most effective means in order to get where I want to be while maintaining a normal level of sanity. In some sense, this approach denies the essential person I am. I have realized lately that I am not a political person willing to sacrifice my character for advancement and I am not without opinion when the system is wrong! Feminism argues that I should not have to sacrifice anything about my character in order to change people’s perception in the work place based on my gender.